Tuesday, 3 February 2009

How stuff happens...

In the beginning was the Initiative, for the doers of evil were abroad in the land of the innocents, and their deeds were anti-social.

And then came the Assumptions.

And the Assumptions were without form.

And the Initiative was without substance.

And darkness was upon the faces of the Constables.

And they spoke among themselves, saying, “It is a crock of shit, and it stinketh.”

And the Constables went unto the Sergeants and said, “It is a bucket of crap and none may abide the odour thereof.”

And the Sergeants went unto the Inspectors, saying, “It is a container of excrement, and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it.”

And the Inspectors went unto their Chief Inspector, saying, “It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength.”

And the Chief Inspector muttered to himself, saying, “It contains that which aids plant growth and it is very strong.”

And the Chief Inspector then went unto the Superintendent and said to him, “It promotes growth, and it is very powerful.”

And the Superintendent went up unto the Chief Super, saying unto him, “This new Initiative will actively promote the growth and vigour of the Division with powerful effects."

And the Chief Super looked upon the Initiative, and saw that it was good.

And the Initiative became Divisional Policy.

And yet there were multitudes of forms and returns and emails sent.

The doers of evil did rejoice and continue to hide in the darkness.

And the constables did gnash their teeth, and the Sergeants held their heads in the hands, and woe was upon the land of the innocents.

And the Chief Super looked upon his works and saw that it was good.


  1. "Scatogenesis."



    for how it came about.

  2. it now all makes sense. I've spent the last few years wondering how the hell they come up with the large piles of brown stuff

  3. And the Ch. Supt was promoted to Commander, and did surround himself with more shi7.

  4. And upon promotion the commander does talketh more bollocketh, and think of more ways to shiteth on the troops

  5. I'd laugh but some things are too true to be funny.

  6. It is not just the Police that happens in, believe me!

  7. Wish you were my Sarge.... Mine just think statistics and performance indicators!! I imagine they think like the scene from the Matrix.. with all the 0's and 1's.....

    Lovin the blog, keep it up...

  8. absolutely love "how stuff happens" every word a true one!

    keep up the blog!